Opposite Day
by Bwookie
Summary: Chlark. Chloe is cheered up by Clark's quirky sense of humor. Contains wordplay and may not be understood by some kids. Rated G.


Opposite Day

The rainy season in Smallville always seemed to make the generally sunny town drab. It came down in sheets on the small town blanketing it in hues of grey. People hurried from doorway to doorway to avoid the downpour, and stayed longer indoors while running their daily errands.  
Smallville High was no different as there were no kids out in the yard relaxing before the start of classes. One intrepid reporter had decided to get an early start by going into school to print out some papers in the Torch. Chloe drummed her fingers against her desk as she looked gloomily at the overcast sky. _Today was going to be dreary_. She stared fixedly at her screen spellchecking her English assignment for the day when Clark entered the Torch's office.

"It's opposite day!" Clark stated dramatically, the door opening quickly with a bang. He was soaked thoroughly despite wearing a heavy rain slicker and his hair was matted to his head. Water dripped down his face, running in streams, to drip in puddles on the floor.

"Clark!" Chloe flashed him an irritated look. "You're dripping all over the floor!"

Clark grinned apologetically as he hung his coat and deposited his bag by his desk. "I am so _not_ sorry."

"What?"

"I said I'm _not sorry_." Clark pointedly grinned at Chloe expectantly.

Chloe gave a sigh and scrubbed her face. It was too early in the morning for Clarkisms. She grabbed her coffee by her mouse and took a sip. _Opposite day?_ She looked over at Clark as he still waited for her reaction with that silly grin on his face.

"Oh great so you're going to be talking in opposites all day now?"

Clark shook his head no while still grinning, harder if that was possible.  
Chloe couldn't help but grin a little bit despite herself as she saw rivulets of water still dripping from his hair onto his shirt.

"Clark you're weird!"

"Thanks Chloe, you're not so good yourself," with that Clark stood up abruptly as the first period bell had rung. Clark stood over her and shook his head furiously shaking out any remaining water in a wet spray. Chloe couldn't help but get splattered. "Hi Chloe!" Clark sped from the room in a hasty retreat to make his first class.

"Clark!" Chloe spluttered not knowing really how to react in time to catch Clark making his getaway. She was halfway between indignation and amusement, but before she could make up her mind Clark was gone.

The rest of Chloe's day was boringly uneventful, until she went to her Trig class with Clark. He was looking undeservingly pleased with himself and broke out into a full bloomed grin when he walked up to her by the front door of the classroom. Chloe looked querously at him as she folded her arms across her chest to repel any attempts of Kent charm from piercing her heart.

"Clark are you still doing this stupid opposite thing?"

"It's great and no."

Chloe rolled her eyes as she found her seat next to Clark in the back of the room. "Whatever. We'd better get into class."

"There's no place I'd rather be!" Clark put in as a parting shot to her back as he followed her to his adjacent desk. Chloe snorted.

Mr. Berger cleared his throat noisily to inform the class that it was time to start. "Class, put away your books, there's going to be a pop quiz."

The groan throughout the class was almost universal except for the uncharacteristic cheer from one student in the back of the room. "WOOHOO! POP QUIZ!" Clark shouted enthusiastically pumping his fist like a trucker pulling his horn. Chloe couldn't repress the giggle that bubbled forth.

"Clark, cut it out," she whispered fiercely.

"Mr. Kent is there something you find funny?"

"No, Sir."

"Then would you care to explain your outburst?"

"I just like quizzes, Sir." Clark put his smile on High Beam.

"I'm sure. Do you mind then if we get on with it?"

"No, Sir."

Chloe at this point could hold it in no longer and started laughing out loud, her face flushing pink as she hunched over her desk to try to contain the laughter.

"Ms. Sullivan, is there something funny?"

She smiled winsomely. "No, Mr. Berger."

"Anything you'd like to share with the rest of us?"

"I'm sorry, I didn't find anything funny. Pop quizzes are no laughing matter. I like quizzes too. Uh...I'm here to learn?" Chloe ended weakly getting into the spirit of things, while squeezing out a few tears from her eyes.

"That's nice," Mr. Berger smiled mirthlessly, not quite sure if he was the butt of a joke. "Well then! Let's get right to it." Mr. Berger harumphed as he started passing the quizzes back.

Chloe and Clark couldn't help but share secret smiles behind their quizzes as the rest of the class settled into a dreary test. When the class was over they both scrambled to get out of the classroom and burst into outright laughter as their bewildered classmates hustled past them shooting them bizarre looks.

"Wanna lead me to the torch?" Chloe grinned at Clark as she walked back to the Torch. Looking over her shoulder periodically, her eyes flashing amusement, to make sure Clark was indeed following her.

"I'll lead," Clark replied as he walked behind her.

The two walked into the empty Torch room and bounced into their chairs still smiling and sneaking glances at each other.

"Clark that was the dumbest thing I've ever seen, and you're the dumbest boy!" Chloe said in an unconvincing attempt at being insulting.

Clark rolled his chair over to her desk and reached over with a long arm to scratch her nose. "Thanks Chloe. You're dumb too. In fact you put the dumb, in dumbell."

Chloe giggled like Pillsbury. "That is so smart! In fact that's the smartest thing I've ever heard!"

"No it's not."

"Is too!" Chloe raised her voice insistently.

"Is not!" Clark exclaimed matching her intensity with a smile.

"Is too!"

"I hate you," interjected Clark changing tactics.

Chloe looked at him and smiled. "I hate you too!"

"Not as much as I hate you!"

"Everyone hates you more than I do!" Chloe flashed him her most beguiling smile. Clark's dimples suddenly reddened as he was forced to smile.

"Guys," Pete walked into the Torch looking at the two of them dumbfounded. "What are you arguing about?"

"Nothing, Pete," answered Clark, "I was just telling Chloe how much I hate her. Her ugly smile, her disgusting teeth, her frazzled hair." He rolled over to sit beside her leaning back to tousle her hair.

Chloe resisted the urge to blush. "Yea, and I was telling Clark how dumb I think he is. He is the dumbest guy in the world. He's a loser, with his dull, slackjawed face, and his yokel eyes. Not to mention he's in the absolute worst shape."

"Did I forget to mention Chloe is a terrible dresser?"

Pete looked at them both for a moment and then pulled up a chair and sat down with a grin. "Ok, I get it what kind of game are we playing?"

"It's opposite day!" Clark interjoined.

"Opposite day? So you guys are basically just saying the opposite of what you mean," Pete sighed as they both shook their heads no. "That's lame," Pete suddenly got up from his chair in derision.

"Thanks," said Chloe and Clark in unison sporting identical cheshire grins.

"Thanks? I mean no thanks. School is over guys, if you didn't notice, which means we can go home. You know - land of no books, no studies, no worries, no responsibilities!" Pete exasperatedly spilled out gesticulating madly.

"Geez, Pete, you're no fun!" Clark rejoindered at his friend's outburst.

"Yea, Pete you should calm down or I just might die crying," Chloe laughed.

"I'm outta here! And I mean it. Check with me later when you guys are normal again. And thanks for the compliment, Clark," Pete tugged his shirt in what could only be described as pimping. "I know I'm cool. Whatever you two are: no words, opposite or otherwise, can describe." Pete left with a straightening of his collar as if to flick off dust and sauntered out.

"What's wrong with Pete?" Chloe asked.

"What isn't wrong with Pete. Hell if I know. You know, he's a playa." Clark swiveled in his chair to face Chloe and pimped out his shirt in a Pete-ism. Chloe chuckled.

"You're nice."

"Thanks."

Clark looked out the window. The sky was clearing and he could start to see the afternoon light break through the clouds. It was time to go.

"We'd better stay the weather looks awful out."

"Yea," Chloe replied looking at a clock, "Force me to my car?"

"Never."

Clark and Chloe walked lazily to the student parking lot taking turns nudging each other in the arm with their elbows when the other wasn't looking. They exchanged witticisms about the school colors, the cheerleaders and football players in increasingly glowing comments. Chloe got into her cute Beetle and strapped on her seat belt while Clark stood by looking into the clearing sky.

"See ya later ugly." Chloe beamed at him as she shut her door and turned the ignition. "I thought today was going to be the best, and it turned out to be the worst. I have you to blame for that."

Clark looked down at her upturned face and quirked a smile. "You can always blame me Chloe for all your problems." He leaned into her car and pinched her cheek just to make sure she was real. Chloe smirked and reached over in a quick gesture to brush some hairs out of his face in a failed attempt to form some semblance from the bangs on his head. _Clark would look so much better if he combed his hair_, Chloe blushed at both the thought and the gesture.

"I never knew...Don't call me tonight." Chloe looked at him absorbing his response.

Clark flashed on his High Beams. "I'll make sure to forget, last thing I'll do."

Chloe drove off with a grin. "Bottom of my speed dial," whispered Clark as he headed home.

Martha and Jonathan Kent were seated at their familiar kitchen table in the Kent residence. Jonathan took sips of his coffee and ate a cookie while Martha held a letter, absentmindedly rubbing her husband's back while she read. They both looked up when their son, Clark Kent, came bursting home.

"Hi, Son!" they both cut in as Clark hurried past them.

"Bye, Mom! Bye Dad!" Clark whizzed upstairs to the phone in his room.

"Bye?" Jonathan looked quizzically at his wife.

"Don't ask me he's your son," Martha quipped.

"What is it with our kid, Martha, where does he get it from?" Jonathan smiled amused.

"I don't know," replied Martha with a mischievous grin. "Have I said how bad you smell?"

Jonathan smiled, the joke catching on. _It's opposite day today?_ "No, I stink. You smell." Jonathan replied as he grabbed his wife for a heartfelt kiss.

The End


End file.
